"Informers inform, burglars burgle, murderers murder, lovers love"

Hello, Jerk,
So, wait, you took my laundry quarters but left my TV, iPod, PS2, and credit cards? And you took my Powerbook but left your cat-burglar gardening gloves? Dude, at least give me something to report to my insurance company. They practically laughed at me.

Forch!

Two things are making me happy today (No, I'm not talking about that new Mariah Carey video): This, and knowing that as I type, My Stupid Friend Joe is packing all his fanciest duds in preparation for a Chicago weekend of booze, banter, and, uh, broads? (Really, we're just going to drink beer, play XBox, and complain about how fat and old we've gotten.) Still, good times.