And Then I'd Like to Drink Milk Straight Out of the Cow

A secret scavenger hunt yesterday — one whose confidentiality has Sweet Pea steamed — took me to JoAnn Fabrics, where I overheard this while standing in the check-out line: "My life's dream would be to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup at the factory right after they made it. Like, when it was still all warm and stuff."

Simple pleasures, I guess.

I went to five stores yesterday looking for a stupid cigarette lighter charger for my iPod and couldn't find one anywhere. I did, however, find a $1,400 television that would look so good in my living room. Anyone want to give me $1,400? Or you all could split it up; if everyone who reads this throws in $700, I'd be set.

This Ain't Stealing: A Playlist, Vol. 4

Panda Bear's Person Pitch nabbed the top spot in Pitchfork's yearly best-of list. Predictable but not unconscionable. I dig the record, and a lot of other people seem to also, so, sure, call it the best album of 2007.

A little trivia: "Bros" lasts exactly as long as my ride to or from work and for those 12 minutes and 37 seconds I'm not concerned one bit by cabs or buses or potholes or trader jags on their cellphones. Sweetpea begs me to wear a helmet but I don't need one; Noah Lennox keeps me safe.

Obligatory disclaimer: I didn't upload this file. I only found the link. You want me to take it down? Just ask.

Yeah, But My Second Life Avatar Reads, Like, 90 Books A Day

This makes me sad. Sadder, even, than looking at the giant weird ass that was just parked in front of me as I ate my lunch. Have you ever seen an ass that was fat and flat at the same time? Like, dude's pants were a 42 waist with a balloon seat and still his ass cheeks were all droopy and floppy like bunting on a 4th of July grandstand. So gross.

Neckbeard vs. Purple Jesus

The Bears are in Minnesota for MNF tonight, and I've got a little wager riding on the game: top seed in the Annual Wolta Christmas Madden Tournament. Securing that (and the good controller without the wonky circle button) probably the only chance I'll have to rebound from my dismal showing last year.

In other news: How hard did this weekend rule? Way, that's how. Saturday night, 'bout midnight, Sweetpea and I bundled ourselves up and headed out to frolic in the snowy park across the street. And frolic we did: We made snow angels, attempted a snowman, got silly on the slides, and stamped out filthy messages we hoped would eventually be discovered by the giant sheepdog and its owners across the park. Oh, gosh, it was such great fun to just be goofy and carefree with SP. That girl's a real treat.

What else? Well, this morning there was a big flatbed truck from the condo construction across the alley idling outside my window and in less than 20 seconds my kitchen was filled with the chokey blue smog of diesel exhaust. It was pretty fucking nasty, but, silver lining, I've been scheming the get out of my lease for the past three months and I think this could push my case over the edge. If not, I'm prepared to lie like a dog to untangle myself from this lease. I've got big, forch plans for my housing free agency.